By Hali Lee, Guest Contributor
This Valentine’s Day, I want to celebrate a special kind of love story — the philanthropically polyamorous donor.
If you’re imagining scandal, relax. I’m talking about donors who lovingly, joyfully, enthusiastically belong to multiple giving circles, collaboratives, donor networks, pooled funds, wealth clubs, and investment groups. These are donors who don’t put all their eggs in one philanthropic basket — because they know real impact happens across relationships, not inside a single silo.
As I joked recently in conversation: if someone belongs to one giving circle, they’re probably in three. And once you start counting investing groups, donor networks, and wealth clubs… well, let’s just say we are dealing with multiply polyamorous people. And that is a good thing.
Why? Because collaborative giving expands us. It shifts us from “me” to “we,” a theme at the heart of The Big We. When donors join multiple communities, they’re exposed to new leaders, ideas, and ways of solving problems. They cross-pollinate — carrying insights from one circle to another, the way bees carry pollen between fields. That’s how ecosystems flourish.
And it fights the scarcity mindset. Too often, donors feel they must choose one group to loyally commit to. But love isn’t diminished by sharing. Generosity isn’t finite. In fact, when we feel a sense of belonging — to more than one group, more than one community — we tend to give more, learn more, and show up more. Collective giving strengthens social ties, which research suggests is an antidote to loneliness and disconnection.
So this Valentine’s Day, let’s give a little wink to the donors who keep saying yes — yes to new circles, yes to community, yes to abundance. Let’s encourage more of it.
Because philanthropy, like love, is at its best when it flows. It isn’t meant to be exclusive.
It’s meant to be shared.
Hali Lee is a proud member of the Asian Women Giving Circle, a States Project giving circle, a rowdy and political Stitch-n-Bitch, and the Women Donors Network. On the work front, she is a co-founder of the Donors of Color Network, was on the co-creation team that built Philanthropy Together, and now co-leads Radiant Strategies. Her first book, THE BIG WE, was published in 2025 by Zando/ Sweet July.
